A Message for those Suffering from Mental Health Challenges {ALFUBO}

Earlier I did a post on Facebook asking people to indicate if they suffer from mental health problems. The post is the picture. There are several reasons I made that post/request and now I would like to explain them.

First and foremost I wanted each of you to realize that you are not alone, that there are many people out there who suffer varying degrees of the same issue. Whether it is PTSB, depression, anxiety, etc. you are not alone. In fact they say that 1 in 3 people have ‘mental health’ issues. This is a really important statistic and I will come back to it so remember the 1 in 3. This means that when you head to the mall, the grocery store or the gas station there is a good chance you just brushed past a person who is dealing with the same thing you are. In fact if you take the opportunity to look them in the eyes and think about it perhaps they are looking back wondering the same thing about you. There is a stigma attached with having a mental health challenge. There is often, not everyone, shame or embarrassment. That stigma often adds to our issues and it in essence becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. A cyclical downward spiral of those nasty thoughts that take us on rides we do not wish to go on. Something you should also be aware of. For every person who replied to the post stating their mental health issue I know of the same number who have chosen not to. Even more importantly, today 11 other Facebook users sent me personal messages to indicate they also suffered. They took heart and had the bravery to admit it simply by seeing all of your responses. They are not ready yet but they took a big step. I replied to each of them the same way; ‘When you’re ready until then I am here if you need someone to listen’. So your replies helped people you did not even know!

Another reason I wanted to ask that question on Facebook and write this subsequent blog piece is in regards to the 2^nd Amendment changes in the US presently going on. This may seem like a bit of a right, left, up or down turn but stay with me for a moment. First of all I am not going to get into a debate about the whole gun thing so do not even go there. What I want to raise is the question of background checks under the context of mental health issues. It is early days yet, but there has not yet been one mention in either the political sphere or popular media as to how you ‘define’ Yes or No on a permit in the context of mental health. You see there is a big difference between someone who suffers from schizophrenia to bi-polar to depression to anxiety. The problem is that the argument is under the umbrella of mental disease. For starters mental disease is a very negative term but I understand the arguments for it, again not going to argue it. The problem with the term mental disease is that it kind of acts as a reverse ‘umbrella’ in that everyone including myself would fall under it, perhaps, which results in all of us getting wet and the rest of society remaining dry. It’s a broad stroke that may or may not paint someone with panic attacks or anxiety or other mental health issues as being a danger to society, gun or no gun. Now personally I do not agree with anyone having a gun but that is just my opinion. I do however find it rather ironic that the people who are incredibly paranoid about their government are the ones arguing against mental health back ground checks. In my opinion they should be under the umbrella. But I am getting off topic. The point being, if you have a mental health challenge just be sure to pay attention to the way the argument goes. It may become far too easy to be labeled as a danger simply under the context that you are not allowed to own a firearm. I like many people with mental health issues such as depression, panic attacks, anxiety, etc. firmly belong in ALFUBO. Although admittedly this paragraph may have sounded a bit paranoid!

Now, the final and most important part of this little diatribe, the 1 out of 3. So according to the stats 33% of society has some form of mental health issues. Let’s think on that for a moment and I want you to think of the word ‘NORMAL’. Think a bit more…ok just another second, ok. The word normal defines a ‘normative’ range of values within a set numbers. In the case of mental health it’s not numbers but rather behaviors, thoughts and actions. These behaviors are categorized, organized, cross referenced and dumped under labels and sub labels with cross references to each other in a book entitled the DSM-IV (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders).  Now this is an important and necessary book, but I will point out that they are on the 4^th version and it used to contain Homosexuality and at one point they tried to add PMS. That is until the women’s lib movement in the 70’s heard about it. Would have loved to be a fly on the wall in THAT meeting, talk about bitch slapped! But again I digress; bear with me, back to normative. There is also the concept of normative sociology. A brief but extreme example: Let’s say there is a society where everyone is covered head to toe in tight tartan spandex wraps, including their face, hands, feet etc. but their genitals are exposed. They all wear large helicopter hats that only spin when they are aroused resulting in very a loud whirring noise. I will give you a second to get that image in your head, good, now stop laughing. Now of course this is completely normal to this society and they would consider our life abnormal or deviant. For me I think there society would be funny as hell to watch although perhaps very inefficient!  Now if you think I am going to go down that path of ‘ya ya normal for you is not the normal for another’ then you’re wrong so shut up and read. If you suffer mental health challenges as I do then I can guaranteed you have said some of the following to yourself in one form or another:

1. Why am I like this
2. Why can’t I be like my brother/sister
3. What’s wrong with me
4. Why can’t I be normal

I got news for you, you are normal in our society. Now don’t go and think that I am inferring that being depressed or any other mental health is static and unchangeable for you simply because I just said you are normal. The only constant is change, period. This is not my point so keep reading! Where was I, yes you are in fact normal. In fact you exist within the 33% percent of society. If you want to use a mental health spectrum under the concept of sociology normative 16.5% is outside of the norm to either the left or the right of the 66% smack in the middle. Think of it this way to the far left we have depression and as we move right we get happier. In the middle is just great but then keep going. You move towards Manic, Delusional and Schizophrenic. You can use the same idea with Overt Trust through Paranoia as well if you want, along with many others such as hate and love! Now if 33% of the population has mental health issues one can obviously assume 66% percent do not. That is one hell of a big f’n normative when you think about it. Now even the so called normal folks have great days and of course really crappy days, that’s why the normative is so dam big. Now you are saying to yourself true but it does not apply to me I am always depressed or I constantly have anxiety or I have to take medication to get through the day. Ok, your right, fair enough but may I point out that this is only one aspect of who you are, there are many aspects of you as a human being. Just like there are many aspects of normative, trust to paranoia, depressive to schizophrenic, love to hate or rich to poor. Do you judge a person on one aspect of their life? No of course not! So why should you judge yourself on aspect of your own life. Don’t tell me you don’t because you have asked the afore mentioned questions at some point in your life, remember the ‘why am I like this’ etc. Those are judgments of yourself, so stop it!

I am going to tell you one last secret I have discovered by talking to all of you so called mentally diseased people. To a person I have found each of you to be open, caring, funny, engaged. You will laugh at yourself and your mistake before you laugh at others. You show concern and affection daily for people you have never met. You are not afraid to discuss your life, your loves your dreams. You are not afraid to get enraged over stupidity and stand up and say so, some loudly, others quietly. You also all really tend to like cats, which is indeed mental. When I think of the ‘norms’ out there I see people who are what? People who are concerned about their status symbols, take extreme positions on issues and thrive to keep up with the Jonses! They rarely share, open up, take one on the chin for a laugh. I don’t know about you but that I would much rather be in the company of the former than the later.

So the next time someone asks how are you doing you reply A Little Fucked Up But Ok, ALFUBO.

You are normal in all the ways that are important just try to remember that when you can!